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Hello! This is my fanfiction page! For several weeks, my bonus bit for a story I'm writing will be displayed here. It won't make sense unless you've read the story.
She had started sleeping in more now that the Christmas season had begun. Why? Probably because there was no point to getting up early since the Cullens had taken to brushing her off an awful lot, preferring to go ‘do their own things’.
Honestly. As if she didn’t know why they were always busy and couldn’t take her along where ever their errands happened to be. They were buying her stuff.
And she hated it.
She sat up with a scowl. This was no good. Bad, you might say.
Bella went and had her ‘human moment’ as she fondly referred to it in her head. But that made her think of Edward again. Which reminded her why he was probably gone. Which made her mad again.
She went to have breakfast.
After eating a bowl of cereal, the door bell rang. She got up and walked to the door.
Bella turned the knob to see an embarrassed looking… JASPER?!
Jasper: (awkwardly) Uh… hey… Bella…
Bella: (confuzzled to the extreme) Uh… hello Jasper…
(Silence)
Bella: Uh… what can I do for you?
Jasper: I came… uh… to ask if you wanted to go to the mall… uh… erm… (gulp) with me…
Bella: (stunned silence)
Jasper: (twitches)
Bella: HA HA HA! That’s funny, Jasper.
Jasper: Actually, I was serious.
(Bella’s laughter dies)
Bella: I see… (considers this) May I ask why?
Jasper: I uh… wanted you to… help me pick out a present for Alice
Bella: Why didn’t you say so in the first place?! (looks to see what car Jasper is driving) Hey… wait a second… Edward wouldn’t let you drive the Volvo… TRAP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie: (jump out of the bushes shrieking war cries)
Edward: (elegantly exits the bushes)
Bella: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! NOT THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!! (slams door)
Jasper: That was embarrassing
Edward: You weren’t very convincing
Alice, Rosalie, Emmett: (climbs Bella’s house wall to open window)
Bella: (slams window)
Alice, Rosalie, Emmett: (head for the roof)
Edward: Don’t harm her or scare her to death
Emmett: No prob, bro (jumps down chimney) Hohoho!
Alice and Rosalie: (jump down chimney)
Inside the house
Bella: (pant, pant, pant) No…more… open… windows… sealed in
Chimney: (makes weird un-chimney-like sound)
Bella: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
Emmett: AH HAHA! Merry Christmas!
Alice: HAHAHAHAHA! WE WIN!
Rosalie: (Evil cackle that make all freeze)
Bella, Alice, Emmett: (Gulp)
Rosalie: (grabs Bella and dashes back up the chimney and jumps off the house)
Edward: Darn it, Rosalie, NO!
Rosalie: (lands) Too late! (tosses Bella to Edward)
Bella: (in shock) it’s very green in here
Edward: (ice glare at Rosalie)
In the car
Heading to the mall
Bella (still ticked and in desperate need of calming. Too bad Jasper’s too scared to do anything at the moment…): I hate the mall (twitch, twitch) And you KIDNAPPED ME! I COULD HAVE YOU ALL ARRESTED!
Rosalie: Then no one could turn you (snicker)
Bella: (Bares teeth at Rosalie)
Rosalie: (shocked)
Edward: (shocked)
Jasper: (shocked)
Alice: (shocked)
Emmett: (cracking up)
Rosalie: be quiet Emmett
Emmett: Haha. Okay, done.
(silence)
Emmett: (randomly) Why is Santa so scary?
Bella: (distracted from her blinding rage) What are you talking about? Kids love him!
Emmett: Cause they don’t know any better. Seriously.
Alice: Emmett, What are you on about now?
Emmett: Consider the song lyrics “He know when you are sleeping, he know when you’re awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good…” He is ALWAYS WATCHING! Isn’t that a tad freaky.
(nods all around)
Rosalie: That’s a weird, but good point…
Emmett: (Excited now someone’s agreed) Yah! And the lyrics “So, say your prayers and go to bed and cover your head cause Santa Claus comes tonight”
Alice: Huh… that could give off the wrong impression…
Emmett: You bet it could!
Bella: That is a very good point…
Jasper: Are you sure that it’s not just-
Emmett: NO! No Excuses! I’m right!
Jasper: But maybe-
Emmett: Nope! In fact… maybe we should conduct an… experiment…
Hope that you enjoyed and think it was worth it!
Merry Christmas!
p.s. The musings of Emmett in the car are roughly based off a conversation LunarTears (my sister for those who’ve forgotten) and myself. You really have to wonder sometimes…
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